AE+Y phone: Hey brother, can I borrow $60,000 for a phone call?

Ok, get this--how much would you pay for a phone that features a two inch screen, no ability to watch movies, or any type of streaming media and absolutely no way to get email? $10$? Higher. $20? Not quite. Give up? How about $60,000!!!!

Yes, the AE+Y phone from (who else) those slick Danish designers, Aesir, is all about style over substance. So much so--they celebrate the fact. Just listen to the designer:

In an age when the industry seems to think that phones aren’t for speaking anymore, I wanted to focus on the idea of voice, clarity and simplicity. The central tenet behind the Æ+Y is to literally craft the visual details, craft the functional tactility, and craft the user interface

Hell yeah, for $60K you better be crafting the s*** out of some phones. This phone is so friggin’ stylish and advanced, we don’t even have the fonts or typefaces to reproduce the actual name of the phone!

So what does this $60K get you?

– Gold version: 18 carat solid yellow gold 3N keypad, rear plate, end cap and knurled side plates
– Ceramic upper with highest grade of ultra-glossy finish
– Sapphire crystal lens with ARdur™ coating
– Hand-polished keypad, rear plate and end cap, by trained specialists. Brushed finish may have a fine variance between each phone, due to handmade element of the process

That’s right, TRAINED SPECIALISTS are putting your damn phone together. And for $60K, all I’m saying is that they’d better be trained pretty damned good. (And not cut out every time you go under a tunnel!)

Hey, if that’s not enough, rest easy in the fact that your $60K is going towards HANDCRAFTED phone icons...

– Bespoke icons and typeface (English and Cyrillic), designed by the acclaimed Tom Hingston Studio

(“Bespoke” is how English people say “handmade). In English AND Cyrillic. Finally a phone that can be used by both us normal people AND the Russian Mafia. The keys ain’t the only bespoke things on this phone. Just check this out:

Bespoke ringtones and sounds composed by Vietnamese-Danish ‘master of the upright bass’, Chris Minh Doky.

The Dokster is making the ring tones?!!! That’s worth $60K right there.

Excuse me now. I’ve got to start saving. Unless you KYC readers know someone out there in the Russian Mafia who can get my hands on this baby.