Sprint: Together with your mother

Rumors have surfaced once again today surrounding a potential merger/acquisition deal between T-Mobile and Sprint. Every time this speculation heats up, I can't help but contort my face into expressions typically reserved for the faces of trainwreck bystanders.

We've been here before...

At the tail end of 2005, Sprint and Nextel Communications announced that they would enter a "merger of equals" and become Sprint Nextel Corporation.

Thoughts on what the merger would mean and what result it would have for this new company were a mixed bag at first. These two very different carriers -- using two completely different networks -- coming together was anything but a sure-fire recipe for success.

The idea probably looked great on paper. The Nextel user base was not only sizeable, but unbelievably loyal. Supporting these customers and pulling them all in under the same umbrella sounds like a solid investment.

But it's all in the details.

The integration of legacy Nextel diehards into the Sprint environment has been approached in countless different ways, though none of which have proven to be all that successful.

From the unfortunately named PowerSource phones (hybrid CDMA/iDEN-powered handsets) to a new technology from Qualcomm dubbed QChat (iDEN-esque PTT over Sprint's EVDO 3G network), the story of Nextel's transition has been nothing but a series of erratic failed attempts to resuscitate a dying technology that virtually no one even cares about today -- push-to-talk.

Would another carrier have fared better in a quest to turn Nextel's legacy into new money? Not likely. Nextel's iDEN network is unique to Nextel, and anyone trying to fit that square peg in its round hole would surely end up having to cut something. One of the biggest issues users faced was coverage. With no competing carriers to come to roaming agreements with, you're left with your towers and yours alone.

This time, it's different, though, right?

Different? Sure. Better? Don't count on it. We may not be talking about an odd duck like iDEN here, but we're also definitely not mixing apples with apples.

Sprint's already rocking more letters in it's network arsenal than we can keep straight (CDMA, EVDO Rev. A., WiMAX), and T-Mobile's even worse (GSM, GPRS, EDGE, UMTS, AWS, HSPA+). Not only that, but notice how NONE of those are even the same?

The only thing these carriers have in common is their lack of an Apple product. At best, we'd be looking at more hybrid phones that no one wants.

So, say this is the dark, dreadful path that these two entities choose to embark on together. Say they somehow convince OEMs to produce some utterly jaw-dropping CDMA/GSM/EVDO/EDGE/WiMAX/HSPA+ hybrid phones. Will consumers want them? Or perhaps more importantly, will the new supercarrier's existing customers even stick around long enough to see them?

Allow me to explain.

I happen to have had the pleasure of actually being in retail management for a Sprint dealer during those fun Nextel transition times. Now when I say "fun," I mean that in more of a "it was fun finding things to do with my personal time to keep from slipping into a miserable state of depression" sort of way.

I was (un)fortunate enough to be in an area where Sprint itself didn't actually control or operate the "Sprint network". Oh no, this awesome stretch of Indiana/Ohio/Pennsylvania was run by a Sprint affiliate by the name of iPCS.

If you aren't familiar with Sprint affiliates, they are smaller companies in certain areas of the country (often rural) that walk like Sprint, talk like Sprint...but they aren't Sprint. They often run their own promotions, maintain their own inventory and operate their own CDMA/EVDO networks under the Sprint brand. No problem, right? Well sure, assuming nothing big happens like, oh I don't know, the acquisition of a competitor or something. Oh, wait...

National ad campaigns were very effective, and word of Sprint's scooping up the legendary PTT kings spread like wildfire. Nextel users couldn't wait to get better coverage and have a ton more points of distribution for equipment and support. In fact, they rushed into Sprint stores everywhere, looking for information on this new utopian environment and help with their aging equipment and service plans.

But we couldn't help a single one of them. The non-compete agreements between Sprint and iPCS were so insane that even though this massive effort was being made on a national level by Sprint and Nextel, it was as if nothing had changed in these affiliate markets. Sprint was not permitted to market Nextel products under the Sprint brand in our area. We had no Nextel equipment, no access to Nextel's billing system and no guarantee for customers as to when things might change or improve -- if ever.

It's actually quite impressive that more subscribers weren't lost during those times. Probably the only thing that kept customers around (if you can even call it that) was the fact that users could switch back and forth between Sprint and Nextel without any early termination fees, and the sales associates were paid commission as if these were new activations.

In other words, instead of truly solving anyone's problems, it was easier -- and more fruitful for the associate -- to just port them over, hand them a shiny new piece of equipment and call it a day. Not exactly the vision Sprint likely had for the joint brand, and surely not what was best for the customer in every case.

The terms of the affiliate agreements were eventually revisited and revised, but by the time things finally became more unified and billing systems were at last being merged, we were literally a whole three years out from when the merger was originally announced.

Given this history, it's hard to imagine Sprint entering into any deals that are even remotely similar, unless the ultimate goal was extremely long-term, like perhaps a post-WiMAX LTE future.

Today, most of Sprint's affiliates have either been bought-out by the carrier or are in talks pertaining to that end result, but there's still some of them out there.

Rumors fly regularly, it seems, about Sprint merging with everyone and their mother, but only Verizon Wireless is even close to a logical fit -- and I'm guessing Verizon likes Sprint right where it is.